First of all, you need to be able to recognize when you’re in a horror movie scenario.  When Johnny over there doesn’t come back after getting wood from outside, you probably shouldn’t send 1 person to check on him.

1. When people say they see crazy shit, believe them.

2. Don’t fuck up your hands or feet doing stupid shit.  (i.e. running blindly through the woods at night)

3. Always look behind yourself.  Use your fucking eyeballs and periphs.

4. Screaming only tells them where you are.

5.  Stay in the house.

6. Don’t split up.

7. If there’s a black guy with you, use him as a diversion early on to escape.  Those guys always die first anyways.

8. When facing paranormal activity, you’re either: a) all going to die, b) some of you might live, and will have a lifelong bond, or c) you all wish you’d die.

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